How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight? Stirs Up Greenlight

Have you ever asked the age old question while hanging out with your three buddies, How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight? Well, now you can answer that very question!

Let’s be honest, this is Steam Greenlight poop, but sometimes, Greenlight poop can be entertaining and fun if done right. Developer Trev Bevan is working on a ridiculous and controversial game, where you play as a grown man that must battle his way through endless waves of angry five year olds that are attempting to kill him; must beat the mess out of them in an attempt to survive the onslaught.

How did this game come about? Well, here is what the developer has to say on the Steam Greenlight page.

“Do kids annoy you? Are you sick and tired of having to be nice while being harassed by hordes of the little buggers? Fed up with being crippled by Lego left lying around? Lying awake at night wondering if you would rather fight a duck the size of a horse or a hundred duck sized horses?


“Sit back, exact your revenge and vent your frustration without fear of any social or legal repercussions.”

He ends the description by saying that they are taking a single joke as far as they can, and even then, will probably attempt to push the joke even further.

Oh yeah, How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight? will also feature four player co-op local play, so will be able to play either solo or with your buddies. In fact, if you want you can hand a controller over to your five year old kid and play together! Just watch the poorly put together trailer as it shows the game’s concept in action.

To be honest, the game doesn’t look that fun to me, the graphics are pretty bad, and the gameplay looks pretty standard. However, I see the above video and I can’t help but laugh at the ridiculous concept. Only on Steam Greenlight can you find games this crazy. I’m all against child abuse, but this game looks like it could give a good chuckle or two while playing with your friends.

I would have ignored the game and skipped writing about this one, but it is already making a bit of buzz on Steam Greenlight and getting people talking, both positive and negative comments, so there is a pretty high chance this game will actually make it to the Steam Store page. That is, assuming it isn’t censored by Steam for promoting child abuse and being reported by the community for the subject matter.

How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight? still has quite a ways to go in terms of development, but the developer has said that he is looking into adding in online multiplayer, as well as other additional features.

If anything, I’m curious how the developer is going to get past all the Social Justice Warriors and Steam censor police to get this game published, so I’ll keep an eye on this one just to see if it actually successfully becomes an actual Steam Game, and to also see how much it grows between now and its launch date.

Guts And Glory actually had similar issues about child abuse and it received quite a few complaints about the violence, so many in fact that the developer had a discussion with other game devs and they expressed their concerns about the subject matter.

However, fans of the game specifically said that if the children were removed from the game or could not die a bloody and gory death, then they wouldn’t buy the game, and thus, the developer left the child and gore in the game. As of now, Guts And Glory is doing rather well in its Early Access phase and has received positive Feedback in YouTube videos across the internet, so there is a pretty high chance that How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight? will do just fine since it is nowhere near as gory as Guts And Glory.

So if for whatever reason you would like to know How Many Five Year Olds Could You Take in a Fight?, you can head on over to their Steam Greenlight page to learn more and cast your vote.


Helping provide news, previews, reviews and info on new and upcoming indie titles and mainstream games, Nick’s passion for gaming and eye for detail extends across various genres and styles. Need to contact this author? Use our Contact page.

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