Coffee Crisis, Retro Beat-‘Em-Up Launches This May On Steam
Coffee Crisis

Mega Cat Studios’ Coffee Crisis is scheduled to release during the first half of May on Steam. The game is also scheduled to arrive on the Xbox One at some point in July, this summer. One Angry Gamer’s own Sean Braganza does PR for Mega Cat and felt it would be a conflict of interest to cover one of his employer’s games on this website, but I’m not an employee for Mega Cat Studios so I can write whatever I want about the game. Don’t worry, I’ll be slightly gentle.

Anyway, Coffee Crisis is a Kickstarted beat-’em-up that was funded to the tune of $15,000 back in 2016. After a lot of hardships, struggles and the typical surmounting of game development trepidation, the developers at Mega Cat Studios have finally finalized Coffee Crisis for a release this May.

The game puts players in the role of two baristas who must battle their way through aliens, old ladies, thugs, and hipsters.

The two baristas are heavy into heavy metal and must fend off an alien assault on Earth, along with the humans who have been brainwashed by the aliens.

What do the aliens want? Well, they’re here to steal our WiFi, our heavy metal, and all the coffee their prehensile devices can secure for their oblong space vessels. Nevertheless, players must join forces in two-player co-op action to beat the ever living green snot out of the illegal aliens and send them back over the wall of outer space.

You can see what the gameplay is like with the trailer below.

Design wise Coffee Crisis seems terribly similar to The Simpsons: Arcade Game, which was a comedic beat-’em-up title that came out during the heyday of arcade games.

I imagine a bunch of soy-drinking, latte lathering, mocha munching hipsters getting both excited and offended at the prospect of a game that bother glorifies many of their menial day jobs, but also has them beating up old people and women. I imagine the social justice crowd will be throwing a conniption fit within their yellow-stained ballpits trying to figure out whether they should support the game or roast it to their 4,000 Twitter followers composed of Russian bots they picked up from the Something Awful forums.

Anyway, you’ll be able to play the title in either single-player modes or local co-op. You’ll be able to unlock Steam trading cards and badges, as well as unlock the Death Metal Mode, and endure random modifiers that change up the way the game plays and its difficulty spike that adds plenty of replayability to each level.

You can look for the game to go live on the Steam store, or if you prefer supporting the DRM-free ventures of CD Projekt Red, you can pick up a digital copy from You can also pick up the game on a classic cartridge from the official Coffee Crisis website.


Billy has been rustling Jimmies for years covering video games, technology and digital trends within the electronics entertainment space. The GJP cried and their tears became his milkshake. Need to get in touch? Try the Contact Page.

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