It looks like even Disney knows it has a stinker on their hands with the Alden Ehrenreich-led Solo: A Star Wars Story. The second trailer for the flick spends its first half avoiding having the lead character say anything, and then spends the second half filled with action, chase scenes and laser fire to cover for the fact that Ehrenreich is about as convincing as a post-puberty hero as Ryan Seacrest is convincing as a straight man.
The near two and a half minute trailer attempts to save Ehrenreich’s uncomfortably emasculated performance as Han Solo by having the black guy attempt to interject some swagger into the clips, and a sassy-mouthed robot attempt to bring some levity to the scenes with the typical sarcastic robot jokes.
You can check out the trailer below, courtesy of Rapid Trailer.
So as I said, the first half of the trailer is Emilia Clarke and Woody Harrelson doing most of the talking for Ehrenreich. Apparently the marketers figured that the failure of the first trailer was a little too much for them and so they decided to take a different approach with the second trailer.
The costumes and some of the sequence look pretty cool. The desert raider outfits stand out as some quality designs, even though it looks horribly derivative of what was featured in Star Wars: Return of the Jedi.
The train sequence also looks okay, but nothing about that sequence seems remotely Star Wars. I would very well expect it out of a Luc Benson film produced by Jerry Bruckheimer starring some charismatic-free Hollywood starlet who’s about 20 years out from having her post-rehab #MeToo moment.
Plot wise I can’t really tell what’s going on other than that Solo and the rest of the scoundrels have teamed up to carry out a mission for Paul Bettany’s character. Given the story arc of the latter films (within the chronological timeline, of course) we know darn well that the fake Princess Leia, played by Emilia Clarke, and the fake Obi-Wan, played by Woody Harrelson, will likely end up biting the dust by the time the credits roll.
Even knowing who lives and who dies, I think the biggest roadblock to this pile of pubescent-peddling propaganda for the pizza-proliferating pederasts of Pedowood, is that they couldn’t have found a more effeminate lead to play Han Solo even if John Podesta loaned them a teenage pizza boy from his own checker-floored dungeon.
I imagine protein-starved women who have a poor taste in meat flavors and #MeToo perpetrators posing as furry-loving trans women will probably find Ehrenreich worthy of the two hour runtime, but hopefully the normies wake up and give Disney about as much attention to Solo: A Star Wars Story as Floyd Mayweather gave to reading comprehension.
Ads (learn more about our advertising policies here)