The latest update for the Early Access rendition of SCUM from Gamepires, Croteam, and Devolver Digital features new weapons, new optimizations, improved crafting, and the ability to grow your schlong up to eight inches or as small as one inch. Obviously this is okay by the SJW NPC standards because it deals with male nudity and not females, so I’m sure you’ll be able to find some hypocritical article out there from one of the Left-leaning rags praising and joking about this feature while decrying the big, bouncy boobs on sexy hotties in other games. Also, apparently it’s fine to customize a dick, but you can’t have a prison tattoo with Nazi imagery on it, as per the crooked rules of Devolver Digital.
Anyway, the changelog over on the Steam Community thread rolls through the basics of the update in versio n0.1.19.10050.
Now some of you might be wondering what the whole point of customizing your schlong is about? Well, the bigger the schlong you have, the fewer attributes you’ll have for other areas. I imagine if they make where you can butt-blast opponents into oblivion after knocking them down, a longer schlong should give you additional damage when digging deep into an enemy’s rear duty-door.
If you own the Supporter Pack you’ll automatically gain two free inches on your flesh-sword, giving you a slight advantage on the other survivors. But again, unless you can use your waggling wang to whip enemies into a wet pool of disappointment and shame, then it’s all for naught.
In the other areas of the update, they’ve added musical instruments, including a guitar, banjo, and a harmonica. You can play the instruments using the keys on the keyboard, enabling you to create custom music.
You can check out the video demonstration for the musical instruments and schlong customization right here.
Operating cameras has been implemented, along with support for simplified Chinese.
Administrators running custom servers now have more options to ban players, and Gamepires also updated the game’s anti-cheat system as well to whittle down the amount of players who would run around naked, killing people with one hit from their man-meat.
Two new bows have also been added to the game, including the recurve bow and the improvised bow. You can also make carbon arrows and wooden arrows using the crafting benches.
SCUM is available right now in Early Access over on the Steam store.
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