John Wick: Chapter 3 Trailer Restores All The Testosterone That Gillette Tried To Eradicate
John Wick Chapter 3

LionsGate released the full trailer for John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum, and it’s two and a half minutes of pure, testosterone-driven bliss. If you’ve been feeling down, if you’ve been feeling burned out, beat-up, drained, destitute, or completely scuppered after enduring Gillette’s anti-male propaganda shenanigans that was hoisted onto the very shoulders of manliness itself, then please do check out the John Wick: Chapter 3 trailer, because it’s filled with almost everything that men enjoy.

We’re talking about badass imagery such as men on motorcycles with katanas; men on horses with guns; well-dressed men holding big guns; men throwing knives, shooting pistols, landing headshots, and generally men just being violent men.

The hook for the trailer is that it picks up where John Wick: Chapter 2 left off, where Keanu Reeves was on the run, with nothing left, and everyone out to kill him. The reasons for this is because he broke a cardinal rule within the Continental Hotel, a place where members of the organization are supposed to be granted asylum from other members, regardless of stature. Wick killed his liege on sacred ground, and now every hunter, hitman, killer, sniper, gunman, knife-wielder, gangster, and assassin is out to do Wick in for that savory $14 million paycheck. You can check out the trailer below.

Gillette eat your heart out. That is how you do an ad for men.

So the gist of the trailer is that after fleeing from the park at the end of John Wick: Chapter 2, the Baba Yaga decides to go to a tattoo parlor apparently to have a tracking chip removed? I’m not entirely sure, but he begins counting down with the clock.

This happens after he’s denied safe passage out of the city when he goes looking for allies in some of the wrong places.

He eventually decides that instead of running he’ll fight back, and that’s when things get hot.

John Wick - Chapter 3 - Motorbikes and Katanas

A bunch of katana-wielding motorcycle members start chasing him down on the highway, and we also see Wick taking out members while riding on a horse.

The most surprising and most exciting element to the film, though, is the appearance of a monk-looking Mark Dacascos from Drive and Crying Freeman. He looks like an outright badass in this film for the few seconds that he was on-screen.

I sure hope we get a really good, well-choreographed fight scene between the two, because that would raise the franchise to the next level, for sure.

John Wick - Chapter 3 - Monk Assassin

My only reservation is the inclusion of Halle Barry.

I fear she could end up being a foil for the action by turning it into another strong-independent black woman who don’t need no man.

The last thing anyone wants to do during a John Wick film is cringe; and feminism in media entertainment is cringe incarnate.

Nevertheless, the trailer for the film looks like bliss. It’s everything you could want out of an action film and it looks like they’re going to deliver big time.

You can support a real movie for real men when John Wick: Chapter 3 – Parabellum enters into theaters starting May 17th, 2019.


Billy has been rustling Jimmies for years covering video games, technology and digital trends within the electronics entertainment space. The GJP cried and their tears became his milkshake. Need to get in touch? Try the Contact Page.

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