Jesus Strikes Back Alpha Is Now Available For Download And Ready To Trigger SJWs
Jesus Strikes Back

The alpha version of Jesus Strikes Back: Judgement Day [sic] is currently available right now. The alpha was supposed to be released an entire month ago on January 15th, but constant bombardment from Social Justice Warriors prevented them from releasing the alpha. They had their website shut down briefly when the Israeli hosting provider screwed them over, and then they weren’t able to distribute the game because the distributor bailed on them, all while PayPal deplatformed them and refused to allow them to use the service for payment processing. However, despite all of those setbacks, the alpha build of Jesus Strikes Back is now available.

The general premise is completely outrageous. Basically Jesus returns to Earth to strike down all the evildoers, specifically Social Justice Warriors, feminists, and the non-binary berserker. Jesus is accompanied by parodies of Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin, Hitler, Bolsanaro, Napoleon, and Mussolini, all of whom have their bone to pick with Cultural Marxists.

You can download the alpha by purchasing it from over on the official JSB website.

Now if you’re wondering if the game is actually real: Yes… it is real and yes it is playable.

Full disclosure: I was sent a preview copy to play.

Jesus Strikes Back - Massacre

I wasn’t able to record any actual footage just yet or capture any notable screenshots because the biggest enemy in the game wasn’t the herd-mentality of the SJWs and feminists being ravenous maulers attempting to clobber you to death; the major problem with the game was the controls.

It’s hard to look around properly and you can’t modify the layout either, so the mouse was inverted and the mouse speed was way too fast. You also have look-turn automatically enabled, so it’s just really difficult to move around in the game and it will definitely take time. I tried a controller but it didn’t work but I may have to make some tweaks to get it working.

Jesus Strikes Back is running on the Unity 3D game engine. It takes a while to boot up the very first time, but once inside the game it ran a lot smoother than I thought it would. Frame-rate and performance were solid, and graphically the game looks about on par to what’s featured in the screenshots on the website.

The core of the gameplay is that it’s a third-person shooter. It’s somewhat of an arena survival game with seven playable characters and five campaign missions to complete. There’s also an arena mode, which works as a survival mode of sorts. The game features 20 unlockable weapons that you can acquire by using in-game money earned by defeating SJWs. There are also several unlockable outfits per character, which can also be unlocked using the in-game money. Also, did I mention that the theme song is hilarious?

Obviously the game will never appear on Steam no matter how much they polish it up, because Valve’s “taste police” will instantly classify it as “trolling” and ban it on the spot. Even still, it definitely has potential as a parody game if they get the controls right and fix up the AI.

The AI behavior is pretty bad right now as all of the enemies just kind of corral together and attack you, and their audio placement and loops are still very rough since they keep playing nonstop. The audio clips are pretty hilarious since it’s based on SJWs cursing and swearing against normal people.

There are also audio clips from some of President Donald Trump’s speeches.

Again, I didn’t play much, but the game is real. It’s also extremely unpolished and needs tons of work. So don’t go in expecting a Grand Theft Auto-style, five-star quality experience.

Even still, This is definitely the sort of game that could end up gaining some interesting attention on YouTube and Twitch, assuming anyone has the balls to play it on those platforms.

Anyway, you can learn more about Jesus Strikes Back by visiting the official website.

About

Billy has been rustling Jimmies for years covering video games, technology and digital trends within the electronics entertainment space. The GJP cried and their tears became his milkshake. Need to get in touch? Try the Contact Page.

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