Eurogamer Whinges Woefully About Dead Or Alive 6’s Sexy Chicks… And Donald Trump
Dead or Alive 6

The Trump Derangement Syndrome is real. Many Conservatives, Libertarians, Republicans, and Independents lost friends, family members, and loved ones to degenerative cases of TDS. It’s a severe disease brought about from Trump hysteria, fake news injections from Liberal media, and the consumption of too much Twitter drama. Sometimes we see TDS bleeding over into things completely unrelated to the topic at hand, sort of like Donald Trump appearing in a Dead or Alive 6 review.

In an review posted on March 1st, 2019, Wesley Yin-Poole from Eurogamer took a crack at Dead or Alive 6. As has been noted by just about everyone critical of the review, around a third of it focuses on the game’s sex appeal, or rather the lack of Team Ninja curtailing it in a way that they thought producer and director Yohei Shimbori had promised for the last eight months leading up to its release.

Poole doesn’t hide his contempt for what could best be described as Shimbori’s betrayal of “woke” activists in gaming media, writing…

“At reveal we were told the heavily sexualised female characters of old had been ditched in favour of a more realistic look in-line with heavy-hitting fighting. Series star Kasumi was shown wearing an outfit that covered her up and looked a bit like something a modern day ninja would wear to battle. You know, it was an outfit that made sense.

 

“The game itself, though, betrays this marketing spiel, exposing it for the lip service it always was. By default, the female characters’ breasts bounce around like balloons tied to string (you can turn this off in the settings). The skimpiest outfits – some of which are nothing more than a pair of knickers and a bra – must be unlocked via playing the game. And Team Ninja has stuck with the icky camera free roam for victory poses. Make no mistake, Dead or Alive 6 is Dead or Alive, warts and all.”

It’s partially true.

After a while Shimbori relayed that Koei Tecmo wanted him to sell the game to fans (you know, the people who will actually buy the game for $60 on launch day). So Shimbori basically told game journalists to get bent, and began focusing more on the sexy-time, which is what led to that infamous “Core Values” moment at EVO Japan, and resulted in the stream getting cut off by EVO organizer Joey “Mr. Wizard” Cuellar.

Trying to get people to actually buy the game was seen as some sort of backstabbing tactic by the games media, even though no one in their right mind would buy a Dead or Alive game without the sex appeal. Heck, even with the barely-serviceable sex appeal that is there, numbers for the game are looking pretty pathetic if the Steam Charts are anything to go by.

The overpriced season pass, the grind-tacular system for unlocking costume parts, and the general lack of replayable content, along with a missing online lobby, vanilla customization, and missing features like tag mode and OMG physics make Dead or Alive 6 feel like more of a step backward than a step forward. Yet for Poole, he was more intent on being able to throw in a jab at President Donald Trump, writing…

“Marie Rose, officially an 18-year-old Swedish maid, but, yeah… come on… is kitted out to be some sort of teen sex slave. Wrestler Tina Armstrong’s skimpy outfit at least makes some sort of sense, in a WWE diva kind of way, but her interactions with wrestling partner and father Bass give off more than a whiff of that most uncomfortable of relationships: Donald and Ivanka Trump. I can’t help but feel embarrassed to have Honoka and Tina’s physics-defying boobs float about on my telly. Dead or Alive 6 is a video game that includes characters I steer clear of because of how grim they are. What a world.”

It’s a pretty bizarre comparison, Tina and Bass, especially given that Tina makes mention of running for office and putting in welfare programs for the less fortunate, which seems kind of opposite of the point that Poole seemed to be making as far as political relatives are concerned… perhaps Bill and Chelsea Clinton is who he was looking for?

The review eventually gets through the shock of seeing titillation and beautiful women, and finally dives into the actual content, depicting nothing of note about the game itself you couldn’t already get from a Steam user review.

One other thing worth highlighting is that Poole falls back on a criticism that was oftentimes echoed by his peers in the blue checkmark palisades when they criticized fans criticizing NetherRealm Studios for uglifying the women in Mortal Kombat 11: if you want sexy women, go look at porn.

The closing paragraph in the review says it all, where he writes…

“I can’t help but struggle to understand those who get horny from this game when the internet in all its glory is a mobile phone tap away. I mean, there’s sexier stuff made out of Source Filmmaker – probably involving the Dead or Alive girls – than is in this game. Dead or Alive 6 stumbles into 2019 like a drunken uncle staggers onto the dancefloor at a wedding: past it and likely to embarrass.”

This completely sidesteps why gamers actually enjoy seeing beautiful women in video games: to indulge in feminine sex appeal featuring sexy women.

Take note, there’s a difference between “sex” and “sexy”. And what Poole is suggesting is that people need to reduce women to nothing more than sexual objects for their sex, completely ignoring that women also have aesthetic value for being sexy, beyond the act of copulation.

Oftentimes porn is not sexy, so people who want to see sexy media, or rather sexy women, oftentimes have to look elsewhere. It also assumes that female gamers who like playing as sexy female characters should only go watch porn, too, which seems kind of odd.

This is also despite the fact that Poole has no qualms about embracing hypocrisy by promoting men in sexy attire, as made apparent with his glowing approval of Mr. X from Resident Evil 2 Remake sporting a cheek-engulfing thong.

Poole, like many of his journalistic cohorts who scoffed at gamers for wanting more sex appeal from Mortal Kombat 11, continues the narrative that a woman’s sexiness is only measured by her ability to be reduced to an actual sex object.

Once again, it proves that the least sexist people in the gaming industry are gamers.

(Thanks for the news tip Cinj)

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Billy has been rustling Jimmies for years covering video games, technology and digital trends within the electronics entertainment space. The GJP cried and their tears became his milkshake. Need to get in touch? Try the Contact Page.

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