Wanking Simulator Has You Causing Physics-Based Destruction Through The Power Of Masturbation
Wanking Simulator

MrCiastku and Ultimate Games S.A.’s Wanking Simulator is scheduled to release during the third quarter of 2019. The game is a physics-based, first-person chaos simulator – rub that – wanking simulator that allows you to blast things to pieces, destroy homes, blow up cars, and then wank off to it to increase your power.

The comedic action game follows a character named Winston Gay who lives in the quaint little town of Gay Bay. One day he’s waylaid by the police for wanking too much and disturbing the neighbors, so they take his home. This sets Winston off and he becomes enraged as he attempts to get revenge for losing his home. You’ll play as Winston as he unleashes his psyionic powers generated from his wanking ability. You can blast things to pieces, kick doors down, and even suspend people in the air while you rub one out.

You can see how the game is played with the trailer below.

The trailer ended up getting hit with some unfortunate downvotes, since some people just couldn’t appreciate the high art of Boner Culture.

However, others were really excited for the fact that this looks eerily similar to the satirical first-person action game from Running With Scissors, Postal 2.

MrCiastku also acknowledged the similarities to Postal, writing in the Steam update…

“To people who asked if the game is like Postal – yes, kinda. There will be 5 days and each day our protagonist has different ‘things’ to get off his checklist.”

The gameplay is definitely more bare bones, and the characters and objects look like they’ve come out of an asset store, but the heart is there.

Also MrCiastku is adding in additional abilities such as a temporary rage system, a panties rifle, and more.

You’ll also be able to upgrade Winston’s abilities as you progress throughout the game and complete the missions on the checklist.

Additional weapons will be made available as well, including shovels, hammers, baseball bats, and more. So it’s not just what you see in the trailer that will be available in the final game.

Some people are comparing it to Coffee Stain Studios Goat Simulator, others think it’s a troll game. For now Valve approved the Steam store page for Wanking Simulator, so they’re giving it a shot. Whether or not it’ll make it to the third-quarter release is still up in the air, but this is a much needed game in today’s overly politically correct society where even games like Mortal Kombat 11 are trying to tone themselves down for the soccer moms.


Billy has been rustling Jimmies for years covering video games, technology and digital trends within the electronics entertainment space. The GJP cried and their tears became his milkshake. Need to get in touch? Try the Contact Page.

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