When you’re an antagonist greedy virtue signaling company hell bent on making our Get Woke, Go Broke master list it is imperative not to do something brain-dead like forget to register the domain for your new service. Following their usually half-baked mentality, Bethesda forgot to register the domain for their new paywall subscription service for Fallout 76. A user on 4chan took immediate notice of this error and decided to correct it himself with his own website advertising their services.
Not one to parse words, the 4chan user got right to the heart of the issue lifting words straight from what we can only assume was a board room meeting at the company itself. Before being edited by marketing to avoid direct competition with Blizzard’s much more popular MMO (Massive Mobilized Outrage). Needless to say the website uses very choice words that are nothing short of hilarious, but definitely not safe for work.
“Ever since Fallout 76 launched, we have consistently done nothing to improve and evolve the experience based on your shitty feedback. That’s why we’re excited to launch Fallout FUCK YOU 1st, a premium ass pounding membership that offers something dumbass players have been asking for since before launch: private worlds for you and select idio- *cough* … friends. So we decided to put it behind a paywall! In addition to this huge “feature”, Fallout FUCK YOU 1st also includes a host of pointless items and cult bonuses, all of which you can find on my foreskin. And the best part? Fallout FUCK YOU 1st is available to screw you right now.”
Continuing in similar ruthlessly honest fashion, the website mocks each and every feature of the game along with those foolish enough to enable Bethesda’s continuous string of bad decisions. It’s never a good sign when the same argument can be made for cutting someone off financially to stop their series of bad decision and make them accountable for their own life for not purchasing your subscription pass, but that’s where we are with Fallout 76.
Like any god tier trolling should, the website concludes with a link to Never gonna Give you up. Bethesda appears to have been quick to anger since as of this writing the website is down, but you can view it in its full glory at this archive. Enjoy the solid laugh.
(Thanks to Zack for the Tip)