Rumor: Star Wars Test Screening so Bad Paid Audience Wanted to Leave

Rumors have emerged from Doomcock the ever reliable super villain and cultural critic from an insider source claiming the latest test screenings of Rise of Skywalker were a disaster of galactic portions. As Doomcock himself has shown skepticism towards the validity of these rumors we’ve held off on talking about them.

As more outlets pick up on the rumor it has grown to a degree that it is worth examination rather than a wait and see approach. Do remember reading further that all that follows is as someone has foreseen. The question lies in is that someone Disney or the Fandom Menace?

Basically Disney is either Palpatine or they’re Jar Jar… like we suspect. As a Cith Lord I’ve sat back in skepticism watching everything unfold as I have foreseen and cackling to myself at the impotence of my enemies as I await reality to reveal to me whether the Fandom Menace has been played the fool or if Rise of Skywalker is destined to fail harder than we could have imaged.

Where most are focused on how absolutely horrendous the new test screening is, albeit improved in my opinion — as they attempt to reform Luke’s image to regain some credibility with fans —  it nevertheless veers near immediately back into the same tired rehash of the past and emasculate the men the series has become known for.

What is missed or overlooked by a lot of commentators is even a paid audience were willing to walk out of the theater rather than spend another minute watching this travesty of a film. We’re not talking paid critics, though that in itself would be bad, we’re talking paid test audiences who’s entire job is to just watch the movie and give feedback on their impressions of the film.

The relevant portion comes near the tail end of the movie as an epic space fight between Palpatine’s forces and the Resistance has erupted in space. The resistance force with the Millennium Falcon leading the charge attempt to destroy the returning Emperor’s forces while an immense ship, bigger than any seen in the Star Wars movies to date has emerged from beneath the ice equipped with two death star cannons. Lando, Chewbacca, C-3PO sportingred eyes, and R2-D2 ride the falcon into battle as Rose below rides the magic space horses on the surface of the super ship.

The whole sequence is discussed in the video below by Clownfish TV.

Rose’s mission is to disable the two canons on the super ship. Canons that couldn’t be destroyed in the previous films and games will now be disabled by Rose and Finn on horseback.

As Jar Jar Abrams thought to himself: “what is the most unbelievable, most horrible fan fiction tier? I know! I can have my Asian icon disable a series’ staple, fan favorite super weapon!”

As apparently while sharing the mentality there is no kill like overkill there is no point defense system on their entire ship. A significant issue as it allows literally anyone to latch onto the side of the ship and do as they please. An issue made all the more stupid when you consider the original Death Stars both had point defense turrets that required a special run in order to deliver the killing blows.

Despite the absolute vapid level of this point, it is not what got audiences to walk out.

Next the scene cuts back to the Millennial Falcon getting blown up. In an instance the last four strong male characters of the classic franchise die in an instant.

At which point many in the audience got up, some even swearing with the staff having to calm them down and try to get them to return to their seats or they wouldn’t get paid.

When a movie’s audience who is being paid to see it that are not there for free want to walk out? That is disastrous.

Say nothing that Mary Ray Sue kills the Emperor, say nothing  about the constant emasculation of the male characters throughout the entire entry and saga, this garbage is so unwatchable paid viewers were willing to walk out instead of putting up with the last few scenes of their screening.

If the rumors are true, a huge IF, and we are not being played by some Machiavellian genius at Disney, all indicators show this movie is going to crash and burn worse than the Soylo did. There is the chance with the rumors of multiple cuts existing and re-shoots still undergoing that Disney is indeed releasing these rumors not to discredit the Fandom Menace, but to gauge the reaction of the public as to make further adjustments.

As this latest screening contains elements that were not in any of the previous cuts and appears to be taking feedback in removing Leia as Rey’s teacher this is not a possibility that can be discounted, but just as the latest rumors above take it with a grain of salt.


Seething Chaos of gaming, Kevin has spent an entire lifetime gaming and weebing.

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