Crackdown 3 SDCC Gameplay Videos Get Awkwardly Cringe-Worthy
Crackdown 3 Terry Crews
(Last Updated On: July 23, 2017)

A new 28 second teaser trailer was released by Reagent Games and Microsoft for Commander Jaxon, the action-oriented Agent from Crackdown 3 played by former NFL football star and current Hollywood actor, Terry Crews.

The new member of the Glorious PC Master Race is now lending his likeness and voice to Microsoft’s Crackdown 3 as one of the main characters in the game, joining the handful of other playable agents in the title. You can check out the half-minute teaser below courtesy of Gaming News.

Obviously, there’s nothing in that teaser that gives you any sort of indication as to what to expect from the actual gameplay.

Thankfully this year’s San Diego Comic-Con played host to some actual in-game footage that was put on display for all to see. DualShockers caught wind of the multi-part video collage, which you can check out below.

The videos are pretty cringe-worthy but not because of the gameplay. We get Alan Tudyk playing in the first part, and he has no idea what he’s doing but he does a much better job of kicking butt and taking names than the actress in the second video, who decides to go on a bit of a Social Justice Warrior rant about there not being any females in games when she was growing up.

I suppose no one ever told her about Quake, Streets of Rage, Rise of the Triad, Traffic Department 2192, Tomb Raider, Giana Sisters or No One Lives Forever? Heck, she doesn’t look that old, so if she’s in her twenties then it’s worse yet because just a generation ago she would have had the Xbox 360, PS3 and Wii as the main consoles of choice while growing up. Each of those consoles were filled to the brim with all sorts of games starring chicks, from Heavenly Sword to Mercenaries 2 to Final Fantasy XIII to just about any and every Korean MMO out there.

Anyway, it’s the sad misinformation spread in videos like the one above from SJWs (and typically people who have never played a video game in their life) that continues the perpetual decline of the industry into catering toward loud-mouth social media monarchs who continue to talk about diversity and inclusiveness but don’t actually play games, as evident by the fact that the young lady in the second video probably has no idea who Joanna Dark is.

As far as Crackdown 3 is concerned, the game has potential – a lot more so than what we’ve seen from Agents of Mayhem – but it’s impossible to gauge the gameplay loops, gunplay consistency and AI mechanics due to the uneducated fingers of non-gamers wasting half an hour each doing a piss poor job of marketing and advertising Crackdown 3 for Microsoft.

I almost felt bad for Larry Hryb… almost.

The final gameplay video featuring eight minutes of footage along with the writer of Ready Player One is actually somewhat tolerable. The city design looks somewhat inspired and at least it’s filled with a lot of NPC activity. Again, it’s tough to tell if the gameplay loop will be fun because most of the people playing didn’t know how to play.

Maybe Microsoft will roll out a real trailer ahead of the game’s launch and we’ll get to see how the destruction mechanics work and more of the driving and a much better view of the game’s AI.

Crackdown 3 will launch for the Xbox One, Xbox One X and for Windows 10 on PC.


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Billy has been rustling Jimmies for years covering video games, technology and digital trends within the electronics entertainment space. The GJP cried and their tears became his milkshake. Need to get in touch? Try the Contact Page.

  • Disqusted

    They should have just made a game about EXPLOSIOOOOOOOOOOONS and literally nothing else. It’d be like that “be anything and everything” game, but with Terry Crews, and explosions.

  • MONAD

    Crackdown 3’s marketing promotion is cringy as fuck. Terry Crews’ involvement is making it even more fucking cringy. I mean, we get it, Terry, you like video games. “How do you do fellow gamers” has never applied more to anyone than Terry. He’s overly enthusiastic, excitable, and THAT’S what makes him fucking cringy. His Old Spice commercials, while funny as fuck, is his only real claim to fame.

    Not to mention that the game looks like an older original Xbox / early Xbox 360 title than next generation. Their whole hype for the “power of the cloud” shit has fallen on deaf ears, and the gameplay (what little I could see of it and stomach over the commentary) looks more of the same. Crackdown 3 will be shit.

  • LurkerJK

    The cars mount themselves without any player interaction

    enemies seem to be oblivious to where the player is once he walks away 2 meters

    there is no feedback for shooting other than dying

    the only things you can destroy are some specific cardboard walls standing on the street and the doors of cars

    http://i.imgur.com/c4jt321.png

    Seems Terry Crews is the only thing they have going for it

  • LurkerJK

    The cars mount themselves without any player interaction

    enemies seem to be oblivious to where the player is once he walks away 2 meters

    there is no feedback for shooting other than dying

    the only things you can destroy are some specific cardboard walls standing on the street and the doors of cars

    http://i.imgur.com/c4jt321.png

    Seems Terry Crews is the only thing they have going for it

  • s_fnx

    Crackdown 3 is going to be a failure on PC, unless they release it on Steam.

  • s_fnx

    Crackdown 3 is going to be a failure on PC, unless they release it on Steam.

    • Phasmatis75

      Microsoft appears to be abandoning their store and windows 10 exclusiveness.

  • Mr.Towel

    Wasn’t this game supposedly meant to be the flagship title for showcasing “the power of the cloud”? Why Microsoft is so quiet about it?

  • Mr.Towel

    Wasn’t this game supposedly meant to be the flagship title for showcasing “the power of the cloud”? Why Microsoft is so quiet about it?

    • LurkerJK

      they dropped it, notice the distinct lack of environmental destruction that is now limited to a few car parts and some boards standing on the street

      it looks like a ps2 game to be honest

    • LurkerJK

      they dropped it, notice the distinct lack of environmental destruction that is now limited to a few car parts and some boards standing on the street

      it looks like a ps2 game to be honest

    • The Cloud isn’t feasible for consumer use. There’s no viable way to make that happen on such slow network infrastructure. Real-time physics computing in a 30fps or 60fps game just wasn’t ever going to happen on today’s hardware; it’s a technological impossibility. In test room simulations where a client computer is right next to the cloud servers (which is how Microsoft originally demonstrated it) things work fine, but in a real-time scenario most people aren’t going to be sitting next to the Azure servers and there’s no way to make a viable single-player experience based on cloud computing.

      It was always a pipedream that some fanboys bought into.

      • Phasmatis75

        That’s not even taking into consideration data limits, connection limitations, etc. I knew day one it was a pipe dream, only hoping they’d release it so I could have a good laugh at how badly it did.

  • GuyverOne

    Metroid,Street Fighter,Tekken,Tomb Raider, Command and Conquer and I think at some point Daisy became playable in the Mario games. Like you said devs/publishers should stop listening to people who don’t play video games.

    It’s not just video games though I mean you have twenty something actresses talking like they are championing females in film like women have never had leading roles in film since what the 1930s.

  • GuyverOne

    Metroid,Street Fighter,Tekken,Tomb Raider, Command and Conquer and I think at some point Daisy became playable in the Mario games. Like you said devs/publishers should stop listening to people who don’t play video games.

    It’s not just video games though I mean you have twenty something actresses talking like they are championing females in film like women have never had leading roles in film since what the 1930s.

    • Richard

      It is the same thing when they say they can’t find any non violent games. They are just not looking, period. They have their narration and damn the facts.

      • Phasmatis75

        Harvest Moon, Slime Rancher, Story of Seasons, and I could probably just google “List of nonviolent games” to get a few dozen more.

      • Disqusted

        I personally would like to see more non-violent games. Sick of every game being about shooting or zombies or some shit. But very much agree they are also just not looking.

        I’d imagine a big reason why is because their best buddies in the gaming media don’t give the non-violent ones enough attention.

        For example, as far as I can tell from searching, there is not a SINGLE article by any mainstream game news site that has covered the well-known and beloved Japanese series My Summer Vacation, in any capacity or form.

        Ironically, the SJW cronies bitching about us being violent, are the same assholes who are essentially the gatekeepers of what we end up getting. It’s already been shown that Japanese devs use the Western gaming media to gauge interest and impressions for how their game would do in the West.

        If the Western media doesn’t cover it, people won’t know about it, and there won’t be any interest. And I’m sure that’s a big reason why many non-violent Japanese games don’t make it to the West.

        Typical that the mainstream are responsible for creating the situations that they lament and use as an excuse to belittle us. They’re rarely ever anything more than projection and lies.

        • Disqusted

          Correction. I found an article by Kotaku. Look how it’s written:

          “Boku no natsuyasumi 4
          Why Do Girls Have Boobs?
          Brian Ashcraft
          6/24/09 5:30am
          23

          In this promotional clip for PSP title Boku no Natsuyasumi 4 (My Summer Vacation 4), the game’s little boy goes around asking why girls have breasts.”

          Isn’t that the one guy in gaming news media who actually has a journalist degree? F**king pathetic. But perfectly typical of Trashtaku. And this shit was happening back in 2009. F**king scum f**ks.

          Gamespot also has a few empty stubs for the Bokunatsu games, but that does not really count.

      • Disqusted

        I personally would like to see more non-violent games. Sick of every game being about shooting or zombies or some shit. But very much agree they are also just not looking.

        I’d imagine a big reason why is because their best buddies in the gaming media don’t give the non-violent ones enough attention.

        For example, as far as I can tell from searching, there is not a SINGLE article by any mainstream game news site that has covered the well-known and beloved Japanese series My Summer Vacation, in any capacity or form.

        Ironically, the SJW cronies bitching about us being violent, are the same assholes who are essentially the gatekeepers of what we end up getting. It’s already been shown that Japanese devs use the Western gaming media to gauge interest and impressions for how their game would do in the West.

        If the Western media doesn’t cover it, people won’t know about it, and there won’t be any interest. And I’m sure that’s a big reason why many non-violent Japanese games don’t make it to the West.

        Typical that the mainstream are responsible for creating the situations that they lament and use as an excuse to belittle us. They’re rarely ever anything more than projection and lies.