Game journalists are known for being anti-gamer and exhibiting poor coordination skills when it comes to playing video games, as evident with their ineptitude in being able to play simple games like Cuphead or DOOM.
In fact, some game journalists are so bad at playing video games one would think they suffer some sort of mental or physical disability, even while they have all their appendages in tow. However, Nintendo decided to accommodate the skill-deficient properties that game journalists exhibit by adding two new playable characters to New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe that basically take almost all of the challenge out of playing. I imagine journalists who exhibit the sort of hand-eye coordination of someone who is both brain-dead and suffering cerebral palsy will be able to easily complete the levels with the addition of the accessibility-oriented characters.
As put on display during the Nintendo Direct, the two new playable characters include Toadette and Nabbit. Both characters have appeared in other games, with Nabbit having made an appearance in New Luigi U. Toadette, however, has the ability to transform into Princess Peach, who then has the ability to glide down from long jumps as well as have an instant recovery jump when she falls down into a hole. Basically, it’s really hard to lose while playing as Toadette.
But if you think that makes the game easy, the new character is even more cheating, as showcased in the trailer below.
Yes, it’s true… Nabbit can run through all the levels without taking any damage from enemies. That’s right, none of the enemies can hurt Nabbit. How cheating is that?
I don’t even know if this could be considered playing the game when a character completely has all the challenge removed by not taking any damage.
There are probably some problem-glasses wearing, goony-beard men salivating over their Soylent soup just captivated at the idea that you don’t even have to use any skill or any sort of hand-eye coordination to dodge or bop enemies on the head.
I can already imagine that a bunch of game journalists will probably post that they’ve beat New Super Mario Bros. for the very first time after taking control of Nabbit.
Anyway, the deluxe edition will still have four-player local co-op and online multiplayer enabled as well. It also comes with all of the Luigi-exclusive levels, too. You can look for New Super Mario Bros. U Deluxe to go live January 11th, 2019.